How Spike saved Christmas
by timan
Summary: Santa's in trouble when a villain does strike,So the powers sent a hero a vampire named Spike.
1. Chapter 1

How Spike saved Christmas

Chapter 1

'_twas_ _the month before Christmas and the elves did dash,_

_Making presents for boys and girls in a flash._

_There were toys of all shapes and sizes galore,_

_All wrapped in parcels, which stacked from top to floor._

_Santa prepared, all decisions he had to weigh,_

_For not to long now it was to be Christmas day._

_But, alas, there was a problem that caused them to fret,_

_This years season they would soon not forget._

_Because something was taken that caused them dismay,_

_When Santa discovered someone took his sleigh._

"Oh no," _he exclaimed_, "What shall we do? With out my sleigh Christmas is through."

_The_ _elves all did gasp at the horrible notion,_

_At the sad boys and girls who they have such devotion._

_But unknown to all their big problem, you see,_

_Would be answered but wise ones, the powers that be._

_They searched through the lands both far and wide,_

_To see where their champion, at this point, did hide._

_Their movements were swift in all directions avail,_

_Until, at last, they found one in the town of Sunnydale._

_Using magic of old, and energies of light,_

_To the North Pole was transported this creature of the night._

_The confidence restored the elves shouted 'horary!'_

_They powers have sent a vampire to save the day._

_In his clothes black as night lay the man from beyond,_

_The new location did startle the platinum blond._

"What the hell?" _the vampire did say,_

_Still very curious why his crypt did fade away._

I _Santa rushed forward, through the elves you see,_

_And did shake spike had with relief and much glee._

"Thank you good sir we're in a terrible bind. To offer you services you been very kind, my sleigh is missing and time is running out. Please help us Spike!" _old Santa did shout_

_The_ _vampire did gaze at the jolly old man,_

_This unusual situation didn't suit him as a plan._

"Alright! Who the hell are you and where the bloody hell am I?"

"Why you're at the north pole," I _said jolly Saint Nick_, "to help with our problem, yes you'll do the trick."

"Right . . . Sorry mate. Don't work with crazy people no more. Now if you just to pop me back home . . ."

"Oh please Mr. vampire our problems are high, why wont you help us oh why, oh why?"

_The_ _plea of the elves the vampire did not sway,_

_He was having the most peculiar day._

"Is there any reason you lot are speaking in rhyme? I recommend stopping if you like your heads where they are."

_The_ _crowd did step back from the violent response,_

_The vamp shook his head and thought . . ._

"Who the hell is the ponce?"

"I tell you, I'm Santa now be on your way! I can't do my work if I am with out a sleigh!"

I _Spikes patients wares thin some reasoning he attempt_

_For his sake, the rhyming, he's glad he's exempt._ /I

"So let me see if I got this right. You're Santa and this is the North Pole."

_Jolly Saint Nick his head he did nod,_

_Spike resists all urges to punch the weird sod._

"Oh this is bloody brilliant, good one spike, you got yourself stuck in some soddin' Christmas special!"

"So you'll help with our quest," _said old Father Christmas_, " 'twould be sad if the day came and missed us."

_Spike thought long and hard 'bout the quest Santa conveyer_, 

_He never had this problem when dealing with the slayer._

"Now if I do this for you I get to leave loony town and go back home right?"

_Now Santa did smile, this plan's not to cruddy,_

_Since a deal had been reached with William the Bloody._

"Alright fat man, what does old Spike have to do?"

"The journey is long and you life you may yield once you face the dangers of the candy cane field . . ."

". . . the water's traversed with you're life at stake. Once you face the creature in the soda pop lake . . ."

" . . . Then onward you travel if you past the test. To meet the frogs challenge, please do you're best . . ."

". . . on to the castle, there is no time to slump. Where you must free my slay from the Mighty Grump."

I the vamps shook his head at what his quest does consists 

"Mate, I am way to sober to deal with this . . ."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_so the vampire left with the quest in hand,_

_Into the adorable world which he could barely stand._

_To help out Santa in his time of need._

_Not for glory, not for power, not even for greed._

"I can't bloody believe this. Pulled half way round the soddin' world and they make me walk to this castle. I don't understand why fat boy would let me take one of them horse things he had in that shed. You know if I was stuck in a Hanukkah special they would have given me a car or at least a dreidel to ride on."

"Do not fret Mr. Vampire," _elf Billy did spake,_ "We will aid you on your quest for the children's sake."

"You'll need us on your journey," _elf sally did cry,_ "we're very eager that's why, that's why!"

"You're not goin' to talk like that the entire trip are you? 'Cause that's what gets little people eaten."

_With his elf friends company and all the patients he can muster,_

_He cleaned off his shoes and straightened his duster._

_Off to the field made from canes made of candy,_

_The vamp though to himself . . ._

"Mate, a bourbon would be handy."

_They travel at night, not that he's to blame,_

_It's simply to stop him from bursting to flame._

_The journey was long and the field very wide,_

_Made of giant curved candy where bad things could hide._

_Both Billy and sally hugged for support,_

_They hope their small lives wont end up short._

_Just then a sound, some rustling heard,_

_It could be a cat or maybe a bird._

_But our Vampire friend is not easily fooled,_

_Using his keen Vampire sense, he expertly tooled,_

_Spike discovered the source as quick as he can,_

_A creature of badness the evil snowman._

"Har, Har!" _laughed the snowman, who straightened his hat,_ "you fell for my trap well how 'bout that."

"You have got to be Bloody kidding me! An evil snowman? That's it I'm going home."

"Wait!" _cried out Billy, full of dismay,_ "we need a champion oh please don't you stay."

_Sally went to Billy, running fast as she can,_

"What shall we do to defeat the snowman?"

"What the hells wrong with you two? I've seen some of the scariest things then this and none of them would be caught dead using a carrot for their nose. Look I'll show you."

_Spike walked with purpose and pushed off its head,_

_The snowman did quiver and then fell down dead._

"See."

_the elves shout "horray" at the heroic feat,_

_With spike as their champion they could not be beat._

_the vampire squirmed awkwardly as the elves danced around,_

"hey get the hell off me" _he yelled with a sound_

_The elves did comply with the vampire's request_

_They had a long way to go. No time for rest._

"Next time either one of you tries to use me as a dancing pole fat boys gonna have a worker shortage. You got me?"

_Putting his best foot forward, this cute word making him sick,_

_Or vampire hero mumbled . . ._

"Someone _definitely_ has to die! And I won't make it quick."


	3. Chapter 3

I /I 

Chapter 3

I _our hero forged on throw the wind and the snow,_

_He had helped so much already with little to show._

_Out the candy cane field through the snow made of cake,_

_Our dear vampire did think . . . _ /I 

"Why is everything made of food for god sake?"

I _Then at last they arrived, like a dinosaur raptor, _ /I 

_To face the new peril contained in this chapter._

_The water, mud brown, the elves did advance with a hop,_

_To get to the sleigh they cross the lake of soda pop._

"Let's hurry Mr. Vampire," I _Billy yelled for their sake,_ /I "We must get across quickly before the creature do wake."

"Is this going to be like the last 'terror' I fought?"

"No this is much worse then that frightful snowman, if we had any choice I'd say run as fast as you can. But with time running out we now must make haste, quick lets bolt for the boat no time to waste."

I _Spike pondered the plan, though said with elation, _

_He couldn't continue without making one observation. _ /I 

"This lake is about three feet across why don't we just walk around it?"

"No it has to be crossed," I _elf Sally said back, _ /I "to the other side we must travel for time we do lack."

"Bloody elves! Always have to do things the hard way. Right where's this soddin' boat?"

I _to the edge of the lake the elves did flock,_

_The vamp saw their craft, which did leave him in shock._ /I 

"What? That's it? That's our boat?"

"Hurry Mr. vampire!" I _cried Billy getting in,_ /I "we must travel in this or else we must swim!"

"The bloody things made of marzipan! How's it suppose to hold my weight?"

"No time for questions we have to push off!" I _Said elf Billy while vamp spike did scoff. _ /I 

_The small boat did travel across the lake made of pop,_

_When all of a sudden there was an almighty plop._

_A creature of evil did swim for the craft,_

_It did circle our hero going from fore to aft._

_The elves hugged in horror at the horrible scene,_

_They plead to their hero that their numbers don't wean._

Suddenly the creature did launch and sailed through the air, 

_It landed in the boat, which caused spike to stare._

"What the hell? This is this soddin' shark is two inches in size. And made of chocolate!"

I _He picked up the shark, with is temper still a fume,_

_In one single motion, the shark, he did consume. _ /I 

"Horary, Horary," I _Elf Billy did shout,_

_Our vampire did glare and punched his lights out. _ /I 

_Sally watched this response, her small head she did shook,_

_This violent outburst earned spike a cross look. _

"What? . . He annoyed me."


	4. Chapter 4

I /I 

Chapter 4

I with the lake now accomplished our hero angrily paced, To the challenge, upcoming, for that must be faced. /I 

I _the amphibian guardian of this part of the land,_

_Who questions must be answered, upfront you must stand. _ /I 

I _in time, to the frog, our dear spike did arrived,_

_Though is purpose, to him, he felt it contrived._ /I 

I _The frog stood proudly upon its lily pad,_

_He puffed up his throat ready to challenge our lad. _ /I 

"So another has come to me . . . "

"Sorry Kermit, No time. Gotta go to the castle and save a sleigh so I can get the hell out of this soddin' Christmas special."

"What? . . . Hey! Come back here! you can't do that!"

I _Thus the challenge was won at alarming speed,_

_Guessing this frog character I really didn't need. _ /I 

I _Now on to the castle for the very last test,_

_For the mighty grump Spike had to best._ /I 

I _our hero venture to the walls made of soil and bone,_

_Outside, Santa's sleigh did stand all alone. _ /I 

"Hooray! Hooray!" I _ the elves cheer loud and fair,_

_They were silenced quite promptly by spikes fiery stare. _ /I 

"Now this makes no bleeding sense. This gimp, or what ever the hell he's called, goes to the effort of taking the fat-mans sleigh then just leaves it unguarded for anybody to take! Who the hell runs this place?"

"Who dares disturb my restful slump?" I _bellowed the menacing voice of the Mighty Grump_ /I 

I _our hero did turn to meet a horrible sight,_

_As the great Mighty Grump rose to he full, eight feet, height._ /I 

I _in one hand he held the trunk of a tree._

_Which he bounced in the other quite menacingly._ /I 

I _His skin was bright orange and covered in blight,_

_Spikes two elven companions did run in fright._ /I 

I _but our hero stood strong against his towering foe,_

_He knew this weird creature he would make suffer much woe._ /I 

"Okay ugly. Give me that sled and I won't have to hurt you."

"You dare change me," I _said the Great Grump with a beat,_ /I "It will take more then one man to achieve my defeat!"

I _The grump barreled forward with a scream and a shout,_

_Spike smiled at the him and his face did vamp out._ /I 

I _the grump skidded to a halt at the turn of events,_

_This man was a vampire, his comments he laments._ /I 

I _our hero rolled his eyes at the pathetic sight,_

_He balled up his hand in readiness for the fight._ /I 

"My god you're pathetic, you're really quite sad. If you think you can match up to the big bad! . . . Oh bloody hell now you got me doin' it!"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_The grump dashed forward and swung with his club,_

_Spike jumped clear away from the attacking shrub._

_Jumping up off the ground, Spike dusted his clothes,_

_He retaliated strong with a series of body blows._

_The grump did reply with his trunk made of pine,_

_By bringing it down on our hero's spine._

_Spike stumbled in directions both back and forth,_

_Not willing to lose on this pole of the north._

_He advance once again, with a confident strut _

_And landed a kick in the creatures bare gut._

_The grump doubled over, now paying the price,_

_Spike punched his face not once, twice but thrice._

_The creature tripped him up with his flailing limb,_

_And pressed to the ground, Right now things look grim._

_For our hero did struggle 'gainst the mighty brute's thrust,_

_Doing his very best effort not to end up as dust._

_While the creatures focused a weakness spike spot,_

_He kicked the grumps groin, the usual cheap shot._

_The grump toppled over in extreme blind pain,_

_Spike got to his feet the advantage he gain._

_He clasped the creature on its bulbous head,_

_With a snap of it's neck the grump fell down dead._

_The grump was defeated, of this spike was clear,_

_He looked to his elf friend and asked . . ._

"What? No cheer?"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_Spike Walked back to the factory, his two elves in tow,_

_Spike dragged Santa's all the way through the Snow._

_all the elves did cheer as our hero arrived,_

_Santa shaking his hand, very glad he survived._

"Oh thank you dear spike!" _he said, clear of dismay_ "now, with my sleigh back, there will be Christmas day!"

"Yeah that's all bloody well and good by what do I get out of all of this?"

"Your reward is simple, my dear boy, the spirit of giving to every girl and every boy!"

"Sorry gramps that's not going to work for me. I want money, US currency, in my hand now!"

"Oh come now, friend vampire, please don't make a fuss. You reward is you helping spread the joy of Christmas."

"Now listen 'ere. You made walk to the soddin' castle and pick up this bloody sled, that thing aint light you know! Not only that, you had Twiddle Dee and Twiddle dumb rhyming in my bloody ear every five minutes I think old spike is entitle to some compensation."

_old Santa with the vampires request,_

_And did him a favor at our heroes behest._

_with a touch of his nose, and a nod of his head,_

_Spike vanished from sight, and returned to his bed._

_He woke with a start and, looking around, his head whipped,_

_He had left the North Pole and was back in his crypt._

_Spike shook his head hard, feeling a little derange,_

_When down near his door he noticed something strange._

_It was a box, wrapped in ribbon, full of joy and the like,_

_It was a present addressed 'from Santa to Spike'._

_He opened it quick and was feeling much glee,_

_For inside, the contents, he wanted to see._

_The box contained, a gesture to dwell,._

_Tied off with a ribbon, a simple slay bell._

"YOU CHEAP BASTARD!"

_and so this was how the day was saved,_

_By a blond haired vampire, who felt a little depraved._

_The moral is simple, for every young lass and squire._

_If you need to save Christmas day, best not use a vampire._

_**Merry Christmas.**_


End file.
